| Saturday, November 18, 2006 |
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The Beginning
Those title reminds me with what Dewi Lestari said in her novel "Supernova" which I read some years ago. I wonder why I still remember it. One thing that reminds me is why it should be like that whereas it is put in the last page of the novel and it is supposed to be "The End". I wrote that title with the hope I can always write what I think and what I face here and I really wanna share it to you_the Imaginary Friend_who is able to receive me everything I have. Then, I remember my friend who said that " The Journey is about to begin". It made me had a spirit when she said that.
What is the meaning of this life ?
Is that a good utterance to start ? Well, I am who I am and really wanna be myself. A journey that I should walk on is really tough I think. Leaving my home country and live in this fast pace country_Singapore_ is something that I wanna engage in. Happiness and Sadness are the circumtances that I had faced during this six months. Who isn't happy for someone who gets scholarship in NTU and I just eat and study and getting money to do anything. That was perhaps a dream for some people and I am really grateful with what I have. Sadness is also everywhere. It isn't only about the distance from my family that makes me really miss them, It is about the burden I should face not only the hard life here but also the role as an Indonesian. I often feel so guilty about why I study here and Soe Hok Gie in his book "Catatan Seorang Demonstran ( A Note of a Demonstran) always makes ponder that "Lebih baik diasingkan dari pada hidup dalam kemunafikan", ( It is better to be exiled than living in the hypocrisy". Am I hypocrite who doesn't want to accept the condition of my country where there is no one university which includes the TOP 200 in the world. This really againsts what I dream before. Eventhough Soe Hok Gie did study abroad for a while in USA, he was given an honour from his university ( UI ), and I am really afraid to idolize him again because I was too far from his idea and thinking.
Now, I come to the period that make all people crazy, that is EXAM period. I am writing this in the middle of that period. I am already confused with what I study, too much, heh !!.
But I don't wanna be distressed by this circumstance will be. Someone is always with me....
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posted by -ian- @ 6:31 PM   |
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| It is about what I face and the circumstances which I encounter. |
| About Me |
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Name: -ian-
Home: Nanyang Crescent, Boon Lay, Singapore
About Me: When everything changes, I wanna still stay there calmly, and wait for the right time. I am surrounded by so called "radical" dreams. I don't know whether it is a form of idealism of a youth. But, be a doctor was my dream, but Physics came into me. ITB was my dream, but He gave NTU for me. Currently, I wanna be a high school teacher, researcher, journalist, writer, businessman, also want to study abroad again. It is unclear but it is fair. As far as I can, because I can jump higher as a true worshiper, as a true believer. Let me be a clay oh God, form me as You want.
See my complete profile
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