Sejauh Aku Mampu: A Bended Path

I don't know why I can’t stop thinking this. I always say to my friend that studying in Institut Teknologi Bandung (ITB, a prominent university in Indonesia) will always be so fruitful because we feel that we are "Indonesian". I always say that if my friend talked much about studying abroad, especially in Singapore. I know it has the impression that I tried to cover my position as a sojourner in Singapore who tried to act so people don't see me as the arrogant person because I study abroad. When they exaggerate about Singapore, I as if wanna tried to say “Hey Dude, it is only Singapore, nothing better we can get there besides the huge malls everywhere". I admit that ITB was my dream. I was inspired how Sukarno studied there (Now, I don't like him). I wonder actually how ITB is. I know that I was so jealousy when some of my friends, 5 persons in my batch, were admitted there. Well, I will tell the truth, I was supposed to study in STT Telkom because I was successful in getting the full scholarship there. I beat my friends who also wanted to go there. STT Telkom only made me so calm because I was also afraid if I only think about ITB. Then I registered NTU and finally I was admitted in this university. I chose this university finally. Now, I can see my ITB has flown away. I cannot say whether I regret about this direction of my life because I myself don't know whether I choose the best way or not. If I talk about the quality, I know that NTU is much better than any university in Indonesia. Then, what is the meaning of studying abroad? Is it about looking for a good life? Can't I get the better life from ITB? Some days ago, my friend said to me that there was a NUS graduate from Indonesia who became a seller in a quite famous place in Singapore. He sold Indonesian food where he was more successful than any NUS graduate because more salary he got. I was blurred by information. I was thinking quite longer about how this life will be? Oh My God, why am I so melancholic today.This is a kind of dilemma where it is possible for me for never studying in Indonesian university. In other side, I wanna continue my study until I'll get graduate degree in Singapore.Trying to understand this is the best way to understand of the meaning why I am placed in Singapore. I hope that I can get the answer of these all soon.