| Saturday, December 23, 2006 |
| My Last Post |
This is my last post.
See you next year with the new colour.
With the shiny laugh and cheerish life.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. |
posted by -ian- @ 7:23 PM   |
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| Learning From Friends ( Part 2 ) |
This day is great. It isn't because I could wake up late at 11.00 am. I met my friends in my beloved Senior High Schoo especially those who were from English Schoo Debate. I found many things were so renewed, not only about the renovation of the main buliding in that school, but also the different condition that we have grown up into the university life. Okay, I learnt many things. I learnt how to build a better blog page.I learnt how to greet people around me whom never I meet for a long time. I learnt how to make a warm situation in the middle of cold situation. I learnt to respect people more. I learnt how to feel deeply when one of my friend told me that he got Hepatitis. Hemm... I am so sad. I was so shocked when I heard that. Thank God for this day. |
| posted by -ian- @ 7:00 PM |
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| Friday, December 22, 2006 |
| Love is Still Difficult To Be Understood |
Who is so great in expressing one's feeling about love? In my eighteen years old days, I was blind about love. It is so hard to say that word, I think. I am still pondering about this heavy word. This word is heavy to say whether it is because of its simplicity because this feeling is easy to evolve or it is because its purity that it should be maintained. Is there the greater word than "Love". I say it is great not because of I had felt it so deep. It is about the social paradigm that love is regarded as the main aspect in this great life.Many people are so pessimistic about love. Soe Hok Gie, in his diary-Catatan Seorang Demonstran-(his paradigm when he was still teenager) said that he didn't believe in love. He insisted that love is same as passion, passion to have sex. Another example is from my neighbour, he said the same as what Gie said that love is just passion which ruled someone's mind.I still remember about what I actually face in my Senior High School where many people tend to make couple with the different sex. High School time is the time where we can easily see how easy it is to see someone's eyes whether he or she wants to have a special relationship or not. It creates a special trend recently. Ironically, I found many of my friends stopped that special relationship. I was so shocked after I was told that one of my friend who was considered as the "strong couple" stopped their relationship. I don't know what made them so breakable? I also met this unique story. I have a friend who used to say "NO" about having a special relationship with others but I found she had already boyfriend yesterday when I visited her. Who can get the pure love? Can we find "love once a lifetime"?That question finally brings us to the question about the existence of love. One day, I asked my friend one question, "What will you do if your girlfriend were deaf, blind, or she cannot walk anymore?", then,,,he just answered "I never think about that, or may be...I will leave her?". I also don't know what to answer if I were reinforced by someone by being asked that challenging question. It is hard to finalize by giving the conclusion for now that "Love is still difficult to be understood by me. Love is sometimes very pure where sometimes we aren't worthy to own it".
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| posted by -ian- @ 2:08 PM |
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| A Bended Path |
I don't know why I can’t stop thinking this. I always say to my friend that studying in Institut Teknologi Bandung (ITB, a prominent university in Indonesia) will always be so fruitful because we feel that we are "Indonesian". I always say that if my friend talked much about studying abroad, especially in Singapore. I know it has the impression that I tried to cover my position as a sojourner in Singapore who tried to act so people don't see me as the arrogant person because I study abroad. When they exaggerate about Singapore, I as if wanna tried to say “Hey Dude, it is only Singapore, nothing better we can get there besides the huge malls everywhere". I admit that ITB was my dream. I was inspired how Sukarno studied there (Now, I don't like him). I wonder actually how ITB is. I know that I was so jealousy when some of my friends, 5 persons in my batch, were admitted there. Well, I will tell the truth, I was supposed to study in STT Telkom because I was successful in getting the full scholarship there. I beat my friends who also wanted to go there. STT Telkom only made me so calm because I was also afraid if I only think about ITB. Then I registered NTU and finally I was admitted in this university. I chose this university finally. Now, I can see my ITB has flown away. I cannot say whether I regret about this direction of my life because I myself don't know whether I choose the best way or not. If I talk about the quality, I know that NTU is much better than any university in Indonesia. Then, what is the meaning of studying abroad? Is it about looking for a good life? Can't I get the better life from ITB? Some days ago, my friend said to me that there was a NUS graduate from Indonesia who became a seller in a quite famous place in Singapore. He sold Indonesian food where he was more successful than any NUS graduate because more salary he got. I was blurred by information. I was thinking quite longer about how this life will be? Oh My God, why am I so melancholic today.This is a kind of dilemma where it is possible for me for never studying in Indonesian university. In other side, I wanna continue my study until I'll get graduate degree in Singapore.Trying to understand this is the best way to understand of the meaning why I am placed in Singapore. I hope that I can get the answer of these all soon.
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| posted by -ian- @ 2:07 PM |
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| Mirror and I |
Did you ever feel so shameful in front of the mirror? I remember this I felt when I woke up from my sleep and stepped my feet into the mirror. I didn't understand why it happened where it was so heavy to lift my head to face the mirror. Is it the psychological result of my guilty? When I tried so shout and to break glass, I had no power. Now I know the reason why, I felt that I was a real sinner. Actually, I don't want to remember this, the time when I lost my personality and the picture of myself.
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| posted by -ian- @ 1:52 PM |
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| Saturday, December 16, 2006 |
| The Girl next My Seat |
Now I know why I always sit near with the Indonesian home servant ( Indonesian Workers ) who works in Singapore when I fly to Singapore or Solo. I could learn from this. First of all, I just remembered with what I met in Lucky Plaza about my stereotype toward home servant there. I met so many people who spent their holidays there and many of them are from the Philipines and Indonesia because their language was familiar. I was thinking badly when I said to myself that I really did't like that Lucky Plaza with its cheap good so I just asked my friends to leave that plaza because the reason I meantioned before. Now, I think differently toward the Indonesian servants who work in Singapore. I wanna say that I am proud of them actually. I always remember their eyes every time the airplane will land in Indonesian airport. It seems that they wanted to cry. It happened in my last flight. Some minutes before the airplane landed smoothly in Adi Sumarmo airport, I asked some questions to the servant nearby me. She kindly answered that she had been in Singapore six years(It seemed from her English) and she had already went home several times and two years ago she went back also. She said that with the mirror in her eyes and yeah....she really missed her family.What I can learn from here is that they are brave people. They wanted to have better living so they should work and sacrifice many things including leaving their family. I think it is better that those who don't work at all, only at home and wathing TV. Ehm...they have more contribution to the stability of economy, I thinkArriving in Adi SUmarmo, my father picked me up. There I saw many families picked up those home servants also. I hope my nearby servant had already been picked up also. |
| posted by -ian- @ 3:47 PM |
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| Friday, December 15, 2006 |
| Indonesian Television |
I was really shocked when I watched the television in my home. It was still like in the past, there were still many violences, horors, illogical religious dramas and many gossips which were evelved in every time I watch the television. I was so bored in watching TV,and it is better not to watch it. Wow.....When can I get the better quality of what I watch here? I am sure I don't exaggerate. It isn't because I never watch television in NTU, but it is a must for the television world to really improve the quality of the people and what I saw here is still far from that quality.
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| posted by -ian- @ 1:53 PM |
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| Thursday, December 14, 2006 |
| Home |
| Finally I am at home now. I realize how slow the Internet here is. I went through all internet cafe in this town, but many internet cafes are so worst. Then I don't know what the function of the internet here is. I cannot do anything pertaining my registration subjects. |
| posted by -ian- @ 8:00 PM |
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| Monday, December 11, 2006 |
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 NTU oh NTU......
The roof seemed to wanna say hello to me. He greets me well and warm. But, the situation didn't agree with our meeting. I should say good bye to this road. I will leave NTU for one month. What I can conclude for this is NTU has been the part of my life. I don't understand .hy I felt in love with this university. |
| posted by -ian- @ 5:48 PM |
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 Ayam Penyet Ria
I don't know the correct English words for that kind of Indonesian food. It is about the fried chicken but the bones are so tender. Perhaps, It is "Pressure Cooker Chicken". But it is so funny term. I ate it in Lucky Plaza floor 4. It was so crowded at that time. But, that foo is very nice. I felt that I was home. The situation was like in Indonesia. Let's try..... |
| posted by -ian- @ 5:48 PM |
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Choir Family Let's follow what my heart said. I want to come in. I have a new family now, NTU choir family. I don't know why I always miss them. I still remember when we sang together after the camp over. We sang all the way home. " The weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful....." I don't know why my heart was binded together. It was such a wonderful time of this year. I didn't regret joining that camp. Now I should leave them for long time. I should go back to my country and left the caroling sessions with them. I was so sad. But, I still meet them next year with the new spirit.
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| posted by -ian- @ 5:48 PM |
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 Save the ChildrenMy neighbour said that I was paedophilia when I saw these two cut girls. I said I wasn't. I got this picture when I was in the train going to City Hall. I admit that I stole that without those children's permission. There were many interesting things that we can learn by seeing that picture. It shows how the children get busier with their days. It seems that the world is too narrow for them. It seems they have been trapped by the lifestyle of this world. I will explain this case. The girl on the left who wears a "you can see" t-shirt which shows the sexy style was reading a score. I guessed she joined a piano course or singing lesson. Then, the girl on the right was holding a handphone and she seemed to send an SMS. She looked so busy with her handphone. But, of course I didn't know what she was thinking. That girl with spectacles wore a t-shirt with the label of a name of a Ballet Course. It seemed that girl joined a ballet or dancing course. It can be concluded how busy of them. They should engage those strange things. Many things were studied by them. I wonder, Do they have time to play? I want to know how high the parents'ambition to make their children "smart" and "talented". I know that by holding high demand to the children by enrolling the children with additional course made them so frustrated. Let's make them learn from this life. I was thinking about how the parents should balance the children's world.
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| posted by -ian- @ 5:48 PM |
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 Choir Camp
Most organisations in NTU held the "strange" camp . The tiring five days Choir Camp really made me far from blogging till my rank dropped. Well, I learnt many things from this camp. It is about how we should do if the situation isn't like what we hope. IT is about what we should do if we face the problems. Shall we run from this? We learnt many songs for the Christmas caroling and the concert next 3 months. |
| posted by -ian- @ 5:48 PM |
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| Wednesday, December 06, 2006 |
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 Cambodian....... It is hard to say that I really don't enjoy this day. I don't know why it is so hard to "Hakuna Matata"( With Bravery ).I still always think bad things so I need to take a rest and feel the God inside my heart again. There was something which made me laughed. Someone in my choir group said that I was an Cambodian. I didn't know how he could say that. Was it because my skin was light brown? Now, I know that what Mrs. Rosemary said was correct. She said that our identity is sometimes reinforced and asked. It happened to me just now so I put the Cambodian boys in this blog for you to imagine. Now, I realize that identity is important to understand this life better. So, I should step on my foot to stand on my own identity as who I am.
Then, I opened everything about Cambodian. Knowing that not all countries are prosperous but I am trying to accept. Having read all about Cambodia, I prefer living in a peaceful society like in the village where I can easily get the relationship easily and fulfil our needs by working in our garden and I can get the things I need in the nearest traditional market like what happened in Cambodia. I know it is a kind of silly dreaming. But, it is also important for most ASEAN coutries like Cambodia should work hard to build the economy. To conclude, I wanna go around ASEAN countries soon.
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| posted by -ian- @ 10:46 PM |
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 Messages on My Desk
Sometimes I wanna laugh if I do this kind of tradition in my room between my roomate and me. When, I left the room first and my roomate still slept, I shold write the message like that. Otherwise, my roomate would. This is a kind of politeness and tradition where we should care each others. |
| posted by -ian- @ 6:22 AM |
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| Monday, December 04, 2006 |
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 Fountain...
I admit my narrow experience. It was my first time to see the fountain with the colourful and three dimensional lamp inside it. I was just so glad to see it. It represented human's creativity. Did I exaggerate ? That was Fountain of Wealth in Suntec City Mall. I was just wondering why it was made and why the name was related with wealth. Is there relationship with the chinese zodiacs in the upper floor? Or, we will be wealthy if we see it. Quite nice, Dude. |
| posted by -ian- @ 1:50 AM |
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My First and Second Caroling
It is December with full of glory and the spirit of Christmas. The time where Singapore is crowded by the tourists from abroad to have "fun" in this Finest Country. It is also the time for NTU choir to perform with many Christmas songs. On Saturday, December 2nd, I went to Plasa Singapura where so many Christmas lamps and Christmas trees were displayed in the road and inside the mall. We did caroling in Carrefour Plasa Singapura. This mall near DhobyGout MRT interchange station was so crowded then I was thinking how it is so bored living in Singapore like my friend named Seow Chin said that he didn't like Singapore so much because Singapore has too many malls and trade center. Well, the caroling was started in 0630 pm and it ended in 0700 pm. I was so tired standing for 30 minutes and I held my scores. I think we performed quite good even though many bars were in messy. The next day, I went to Suntec mall plaza, the biggest mall in Singapore but I think it is too big. I didn't gather in Boon Lay MRT Station but I went directly to City Hall after shopping with Jeffry in Bugis and Orchard and having service in City Harvest Church. We performed the songs which were same as the songs we sang yesterday. The difference was that the second caroling it was better. I was always thinking. How if it were a real church choir, we would always pray before doing anything. I felt a different things when we performed. There should be "feel" and "soul" in singing the Christmas songs. I was as if flying when I sang " Gloooooooooria". It was so deep inside my heart. I hope it can be so memorable for me, my first performance in NTU choir.
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| posted by -ian- @ 1:20 AM |
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| Saturday, December 02, 2006 |
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Two Michaels...
(continuation of Seoul Garden)
This is about how diversed in this world even though there are two people with the same name. In the picture, it seems that both guys from the Physics Department NTU are so shameful when they photographed. It seems that both of them are so introvert. But, let you know that both have the different characteristics. One of them are so extrovert, talkative, active guy and the other is so introvert, silent, and shy. Can you guess which one?? |
| posted by -ian- @ 4:25 AM |
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 Choir Practice and Sadness
In this two days, I practised choir crazily from 7 pm till 11 pm in the coldest place in NTU, LT 20 untill I felt I was in North Pole. It was so tiring when I should practise christmas songs. But, the songs were good to hear and most of them are already familiar but I still felt blur about the lyrics and melody. I learnt much actually, not only about how to sing Christmas songs but also looking for meaning about the Christmas in Singapore. I was just so sad when Christmas in Singapore is identical with the oppotunity to attract tourists to shop in Singapore. Everywhere in Singapore now displayed ornaments about Christmas. Then, what is the meaning of Christmas...Hem...my neighbour said it is only about celebrating the holiday in the end of the year and there is no connection with religion practice. |
| posted by -ian- @ 4:06 AM |
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 Memorable......Everyhere can show everything.This afternoon, I went to Nanyang Avenue and submitted my medical matter to International Student Centre. Having finished with that procedure, I walked to Nanyang Market. I passed the path which I met for the first time when I firstly came here. It is somewhere hear hall 2 but there is a way with the roof which can protect me from the rain like this afternoon. It was a graceful thing when I could see a little part of Singapore with many Jurong flats in Nanyang Avenue which is located in the high place like a hill. I still remember when I was a freshman, in on 28 July 2006 when I woke up in the morning then I walked to Nanyang Avenue and looked for International Student Centre because I was afraid nobody accompanied me to engage in International Student Centre because the day before a senior said that he couldn't accompany me to ISC. I almost got lost in Nanyang Height because I was wrong in turning, whether it was supposed to be left or right. Hem....finally I was looking for way, and one of the way is shown here. I still always love walking in this way.
When I walked there this afternoon, I realized that I was already one semester in NTU. Oh...it is so meaningful to study here if I compare with last six months. I was so glad that i can study here. I really don't think I can stand on my feet like today without God. Hemmm....
Everywhere can show everything.
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| posted by -ian- @ 3:55 AM |
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| Friday, December 01, 2006 |
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Seoul Garden...
I did many crazy things today. I ate too much meat. I went to Seoul Garden (Bugis Juction) with my seniors, they are Purna, (talkative)Michael, and (silent)Michael. We went there to celebrate our exam....I can't say yesterday was my succesful exams. I just wanna celebrate that I had finished totally even though I don't know how bad the result is. I just wanna celebrated. I bought my beloved book " Gun,Germs,and Steel" by Jared Diamond. What I learnt today is about how to create a good relationship with seniors. Then, I came to a very tough choir practice. We practised 4 hours to learn the caroling songs. I was just so sad when I heard the christmas songs seem to be understood in the different ways. I just didn't sing with my whole heart. It was just hypocrisy when we sing with no meaning. |
| posted by -ian- @ 3:44 AM |
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| It is about what I face and the circumstances which I encounter. |
| About Me |
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Name: -ian-
Home: Nanyang Crescent, Boon Lay, Singapore
About Me: When everything changes, I wanna still stay there calmly, and wait for the right time. I am surrounded by so called "radical" dreams. I don't know whether it is a form of idealism of a youth. But, be a doctor was my dream, but Physics came into me. ITB was my dream, but He gave NTU for me. Currently, I wanna be a high school teacher, researcher, journalist, writer, businessman, also want to study abroad again. It is unclear but it is fair. As far as I can, because I can jump higher as a true worshiper, as a true believer. Let me be a clay oh God, form me as You want.
See my complete profile
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